Boost the Connection with Your Grandchildren

Dr. Kerry Byrne, the founder of The Long Distance Grandparent, has a superpower. She turns research into resources for grandparents who want to make a deeper connection with their grandchildren.

As a parent of two young sons, Kerry has lived a long distance from her parents, so she understands the importance of the partnership between parents and grandparents. She also understands that grandparents need help figuring out what to talk about during video chats with their grandchildren. One of her greatest joys is looking into a sea of grand faces at her webinars and knowing she’s helping them with practical and meaningful ways to connect with their grandchildren. She’s created a vast amount of material to inspire grandparents with creative ways to boost the connection with their grandchildren. Her newest creation is “GRAND Word Hug” printables available on her website.

Your Grand Path to Connection

Recently, Kerry shared some of her strategies at our GaGa Sisterhood meeting. She explained her 5 Ps framework to help you build a “Grand Path” towards more intentional, consistent, and meaningful connections with your grandchildren.

Plan – ensure you’re mindful and intentional about grandparenting
Partner – nurture the partnerships with parents, cousins, and others
Prepare – prepare for moments shared to make the best of every interaction
Play – play and be playful about your connections
Preserve – capture moments you share together for your grandchildren

The Connection Loop

No matter what ages your grandchildren are, there are three main ways to create what Kerry calls “The Connection Loop” — snail mail, virtual, and in-person. Virtual can vary depending on age — including video chat, text message, Instagram, and social media. Each of these three ways to connect can reinforce each other.

For example, if you plan to visit in person, before you go, mail your grandchild a postcard or note. You’ll build anticipation for the activity you’re planning to do together. Then on your virtual visit, give some hints about the planned activity.

Preparation Is Key

When planning your visit, prepare for it by thinking of it in three parts — before, during, and after.

4 tips Before You Go

1. Create Anticipation

Send photos from your previous visit
Create a countdown calendar
Make up a secret handshake or set of actions
Show them a small bag/envelop to ask you for

2. Pre-visit Check-in with Parents

Food philosophy or allergies
Parenting philosophies
What’s going on for the kids right now?
Anything you can help support them with?

3. Do a GRAND Google

Conversation starters for your grandchild’s age
Research the topic your grandchild is interested in
Talk about the topic when you get there
Look up concepts to be familiar with parent’s philosophies

4. Prepare Personalized “Moment Makers”

Photos — gather some of you and/or the parents at your grandchild’s current age or baby photos. See who can recognize baby photos.
Storytelling — think of a few family stories you would like to share. Make them relevant to where your grandchild is right now. Either about you or your parents.
Play — plan a few things to do together whether it’s a craft, scavenger hunt or new board game. Create a family quiz. Click on this link to see Kerry’s “25 Questions for Family Quiz Night All about YOUR Family.”

During your visit

Be a GRAND Detective – notice what games/activities they’re playing, names of friends, and what they’re reading, and watching so you can use the information later in video chats, letters, notes
Be a GEO (Grand Encouragement Officer) – based on research with college-age students who were asked what makes them feel close to their grandparents. An important component was having a grandparent who encouraged them — the students rated their relationship closer when grandparents said: I miss you, I love you, I’m proud of you, I enjoy spending time with you, you’re special to me. Write down some recent victories so you can be a cheerleader.
GRAND Selfies – get in the photo with your grandchild

Before you say goodbye

Tuck notes of encouragement into unexpected places in a drawer, in a pocket, under a pillow
Hide a small gift – when you get home, play “hot and cold” to find it

On your way home, make notes on the “Grandchild Cheat Sheet” to remember during your next call

After your visit

Send a note about a fave moment (use senses)
Send a photo of you together as a postcard with a story about the moment
Send a note to the parents (thank them for your time together and say something specific about what you appreciate about them)