In my last post, I asked you for advice on how to resolve my Mother’s Day dilemma. Should I spend Mother’s Day with my 95-year old mother or spend the weekend with my daughter and two granddaughters?
I knew in my heart that I would have way more fun celebrating my birthday and Mother’s Day with my daughter and granddaughters. But the dutiful daughter in me knew I should spend the day with my mother. I know I’m blessed to still have my mother to honor on Mother’s Day and I cherish the bond I have with her.
Many of you wrote to say I should spend it with my mother since my daughter can spend it with her daughters and husband. You also suggested that all of us try to spend it together. That choice wasn’t an option for the Mother’s Day weekend.
Your comments definitely helped me reach a decision that satisfied everyone. I drove up to my daughter’s on Friday and spent the weekend being pampered by them. After Sunday brunch at their house, I drove down to my mom’s and had Mother’s Day dinner with her. Everyone was happy — especially me.
When I first thought about stopping at my mom’s on the way home from my daughter’s (a three-hour drive,) I felt like it would take more energy than I could muster. But after all the pampering I received from my daughter and granddaughters, I felt so rejuvenated I was able to celebrate with my mom too.
I needed that time with my girls to restore my energy. My husband has a chronic illness and I’ve been doing a lot of caregiving lately. His illness has made visits to my daughter more complicated and less frequent. I miss her and my granddaughters — they lift my spirits.
When I finally made my decision and told my daughter, she said: “Mom, we’re going to pamper you for the weekend.” And they certainly did!
On Friday evening, my daughter handed me a list titled “Baba’s Birthday List of Activities.” She said she was inspired by the lists I used to give my granddaughters when they were younger and visited our house. In that same spirit, my daughter compiled a list of these activities for my weekend:
- Play games
- Sit in the garden
- Get a massage
- Go for a walk
- Piano concert
- Watch a movie
- Polish nails
- Do yoga
During the weekend we did everything on the list except polish nails and yoga. My 11-year old granddaughter and I played many games of Rummikub and Gin Rummy. We all relaxed in their garden and watched the birds enjoying their new bird feeders. My daughter fixed a high tea on Saturday afternoon and a bountiful brunch on Sunday morning. My granddaughters performed a piano and violin concert that filled my heart with joy.
They cleared their schedules and devoted the entire weekend to pampering me. I felt so relaxed and rejuvenated that I had more than enough energy to spend Sunday evening with my mom.
I know that I am truly blessed — not only did I get to be celebrated this Mother’s Day but I also got to honor my mother and daughter who are both wonderful mothers. Being able to spend the weekend feeling so loved and pampered by my daughter and granddaughters fed my soul so deeply that I will cherish these Mother’s Day memories for the rest of my life.