We love to brag about the joys of being a grandma. We share photos on our smart phones and social media. We tell cute stories about our grandchild’s milestones.
But what about those times when being a grandma isn’t so grand? For example, your daughter-in-law excludes you from a family celebration with the new baby. Your son reprimands you for sharing a photo on social media. You don’t understand your adult child’s parenting methods, but you’re reluctant to say anything for fear you’ll offend the new parents.
These common challenges — and worse — happen to most grandmas, but they’re reluctant to speak up because they think they’re the only ones experiencing them.
If you’re a new grandma facing challenges in your role, don’t feel bad. You’re not alone. I’ve got just the book for you — When Being a Grandma Isn’t So Grand: 4 Keys to L.O.V.E. Your Grandchild’s Parents.
I wrote the book to share both sides of the grandparent relationship, so that grandmas can understand how moms feel and in turn, moms can understand how grandmas feel. I believed that when we understand each other’s perspectives, we can then focus on our shared purpose: nurturing our grandchildren.
I’ve made many mistakes as a grandma — offering advice when it wasn’t requested, buying the wrong kind of gifts, and questioning my children’s parenting methods, to name a few. I’ve readily admitted my mistakes (believe me, it gets easier with practice) and asked my daughter for forgiveness numerous times. Hopefully, we learn through our mistakes and become wiser in the process.
My book for grandmas has gotten enthusiastic reviews from new and seasoned grandmas because they realize they’re not alone in feeling unsure about how to handle the challenges.
Here’s my advice for building a solid relationship with your grandchild’s parents and avoiding the common pitfalls that happen to all of us: Remember the acronym L.O.V.E.
- Learn the parents’ language so you understand their philosophy.
- Own your shared purpose of nurturing a healthy, adjusted child.
- Value the parents’ hard work and good intentions so that you share mutual respect.
- Empathize! Empathize! Empathize! Empathy is infinitely more valuable than any advice you can give.
Each chapter offers sound advice with a summary at the end and journal questions to get you thinking about your own experience. The second part of the book gives the mom’s perspective on the grandparenting relationship based on a survey of over 50 moms.
If you’re a new grandma or know someone who’s about to become a grandma, buy my book, When Being a Grandma Isn’t So Grand: 4 Keys to L.O.V.E. Your Grandchild’s Parents on Amazon.