This guest post is by Christene, founder of a website for surrogate grandparenting. Four years ago Christene responded to my post about Parentless Parents Needing Surrogate Grandparents. Her parents had passed away and she longed for surrogate parents for herself and surrogate grandparents for her 2-year old daughter. She’d started an organization to help pair parentless parents with surrogate grandparents. She launched surrogategrandparenting.com in 2010. We’ve stayed in touch because I continue to receive so many heartfelt requests from women looking for surrogate grandchildren or surrogate grandparents.
I still miss my parents. My father passed away when I was 9, my mother when I was 22. So much has happened since then, so many events have passed without them here with me. They may not have had the correct technical/fact-based answers to all of my questions over the years, but I know their presence would be supportive and encouraging enough.
I still yearn for grandparents for my daughter, who just started kindergarten. It’s a weird thing to ask most people: “Do you want to be grandparents to my daughter?” Unless they were thinking of that thought at that exact moment, then the answer is usually “no.” None of my good friends have “surrogate grandparenting my daughter” on their to-do list.
Even when I was in the midst of postpartum depression, a lean family income and graduate level program requirements, I still wanted my daughter to have grandparents. So I created SurrogateGrandparenting.com.
The website is a member site but membership is free, because I didn’t want finances to stop anyone from seeking and finding a family. Membership is just like registering at Amazon.com or any other member site that requires a real person with a real email address. You must be able to read and reply to the email you get from the surrogate grandparenting website after first registering.
To meet a surrogate grandparent or grandchild, you must post an announcement in the website to let others know you’re looking and available for a family. You can do this by posting in your State section on the website. Then the website will use a Private Messaging (PM) system to respond. When you find a family you like, you will be able to exchange a PM with that family.
I’m proud to say I have many registered members on my surrogate grandparenting site. Sadly, a majority of them simply don’t post their own announcement that they’re looking for a family. When they find their state section empty, they get frustrated and leave unhappy.
There are many families looking for surrogate grandparents. Remember, you must post to let others know you are available to become a surrogate grandparent. I’ve streamlined the website to make it easier to post, as well as find your family.
Go to surrogategrandparenting.com before the holiday season begins and start your New Year with an extended family!
This is a great site for many individuals, but I think it could especially help grandparents who are estranged from their grandchildren. While it is true that no child can take the place of a grandchild whom you are not allowed to see, I still think that grandparents can find fulfillment in doing things for other children. For one thing, they it will be reinforced that, yes, they have something to offer to the world and to children.