Judging from Dr. Laura’s comment on my original post, it sounds like she must get a lot of complaints from men who feel envious of the bond that women have with their mothers. I agree with Dr. Laura that it’s not a good idea for wives to share marital intimacies and problems with their mothers. Yes, it would make husbands feel humiliated and betrayed.
But that’s not what I was talking about. My conversations with my mom have never included any intimate details of my marriage. I wouldn’t tell her and she wouldn’t want to hear them. We are genuinely interested in each others’ lives. And for me it’s inspiring to have a role model who lives an active life and has observations to make about the people and activities she encounters in her day.
Dr. Laura readily admits she didn’t have a good relationship with her mother and that’s what makes it so hard for her to understand. When you’ve never experienced something, it’s hard to put yourself in that place. She goes on to say that she does have a good relationship with her son but would worry if he called her everyday.
Yes, it does sound odd for a son to call his mom everyday. But sons are different than daughters. I think what bothers me is her passing judgment on behavior that she has not experienced.
I don’t feel a need to talk to my daughter everyday. She has a hectic schedule and lots of things to get done for her family. So checking in when we need to is enough for now. I love getting progress reports on my two granddaughters and what goes on in their lives but I know it’s hard to squeeze in daily calls at this time in our lives.
On the other hand, my mom has lots of time and lives alone. So I call her because I care about her and I know she enjoys hearing my voice at the end of the day—unless she’s watching one of her favorite television programs!