Advice to New Moms: Bring in the Grandparents

What do new moms really need to know? In honor of Mother’s Day, The Mercury News asked women to share their hard-earned wisdom. I responded to their request and they published my answers along with ten others. The answers range from advice for surviving those sleep-deprived first months to how to enjoy those sometimes challenging teen years. While approaches may be different, the theme is universal: Being a mom can be hard, but ‘fierce’ love helps you rise to the occasion. Also, be flexible, ask for help and learn that sometimes you just have to ‘let it go.’

Bring in the Grandparents

As a mother and a grandmother, my advice to new moms would be to bring in the grandparents. Ideally, it would include your parents and in-laws. Grandparents are a wonderful resource for you and your child. They can be much more actively engaged and willing to pitch in. So take advantage — and be patient with each other. It’s a learning process for everyone as you grow into your new roles.

Most grandparents can hardly wait to get their hands on their new grandbaby. They just want to be asked. But sometimes, your expectations and their expectations may not match. If possible, have a conversation with the grandparents-to-be. Tell them you want them to be part of your child’s life and ask them what expectations they have as new grandparents and how involved they want to be. Share your hopes and wishes for their involvement. Find a mutually agreeable schedule of visiting that works for all of you.

Explain that you’ll probably be doing things differently than your parents did, and that’s not a judgment. There’s a lot more information out there now about raising children. Share your parenting philosophy with them and offer to loan them books or give them articles to help them understand how you plan to parent. This will help them feel part of the team.

You can read the advice from other moms by clicking on the link to the article.